People who Abbreviate their First Names

What a bunch of pretentious cocksuckers...I don't know about you, but I cringe every time I see one of these signs on the road.

Where do these people get off abbreviating their first names? I thought everybody was on board with Joeseph being shortened to Joe, and Thomas being shortened to Tom. Where the fuck did "Jos." and "Thos." come from? Perfectly good, natural nicknames being cast aside to look like a dickhead.

When I think of the type of person that goes by Jos. or Thos., he is either from the 1800's wearing a tailed tuxedo with a top hat, or some preppy douchebag at a country club and is probably named Jos. Dicklicker "III" or "IV". The latter is probably wearing a Lacoste Polo with salmon colored pants and boat shoes.

These wannabe 18th century assholes have their noses in the air looking down at all the regular people like Joe and Tom. Well I'm not going to stand for that shit. When your name is Charles and you go by "Chas." it's time for you to kill yourself. Nobody is fooled into thinking you're classier than Chuck and Charlie. People who abbreviate your first name...you need a time machine and I hate you.

People who Shave their Cats to look like Lions

I had my first run in with one of these atrocities yesterday...and apparently it's become more and more popular.

People have started getting their cats groomed to look like the king of the jungle. Not only does it look fucking retarded, it's borderline animal cruelty.

It's bad enough the look an animal gives you when their embarrassed about a shaved area from surgery....now they feel that shame all day, every day.

Think about how the other cats look at this one. If they could talk, they would be laughing and calling your's a douche bag, beating it up, and pissing on it. Maybe carvings their initials into the giant bald spots running down the entire length of its body.

I have an idea, how about next time you get the urge to do something like this, you grow some kind of weird facial hair so people stare at you when you're walking down the street. If you're a girl, walk around in leggings with a permanent camel toe. That ought to get some uncomfortable glances and stares....Maybe then you'll understand what your doing to your pet.

I hope that the next time you go to sleep, your cat claws the shit out of you for revenge. People who shave your cats to look like lions....I hate you.