People who Shave their Cats to look like Lions

I had my first run in with one of these atrocities yesterday...and apparently it's become more and more popular.

People have started getting their cats groomed to look like the king of the jungle. Not only does it look fucking retarded, it's borderline animal cruelty.

It's bad enough the look an animal gives you when their embarrassed about a shaved area from surgery....now they feel that shame all day, every day.

Think about how the other cats look at this one. If they could talk, they would be laughing and calling your's a douche bag, beating it up, and pissing on it. Maybe carvings their initials into the giant bald spots running down the entire length of its body.

I have an idea, how about next time you get the urge to do something like this, you grow some kind of weird facial hair so people stare at you when you're walking down the street. If you're a girl, walk around in leggings with a permanent camel toe. That ought to get some uncomfortable glances and stares....Maybe then you'll understand what your doing to your pet.

I hope that the next time you go to sleep, your cat claws the shit out of you for revenge. People who shave your cats to look like lions....I hate you.

Girls who wear unflattering shirts and dresses

I have no idea why they do this....

You're a girl thats in pretty good shape. You eat right..work out..and take care of yourself in general. Then when it's time to go out, you throw on this shirt that was designed to hide a pregnant stomach. WTF?

Stop doing this immediately! There's absolutely no reason for it and to be totally honest, it makes you less attractive. These were designed to functionally hide the large belly of a pregnant woman in her last trimester, and you're wearing it at the bar.

Shirts like these will not help get you laid. Any guy looking at you automatically thinks that you're either A: Pregnant (which would normally be a good guess) or B: That you're hiding your spare tire. If you are neither, then throw on something that actually compliments the way you look.

Pregnant women: This was not meant as any knock on you. Pregnancy is beautiful and it definitely is flattering for you guys. But seriously, the time has come. You must reclaim these as your signifying attire! How are people supposed to congratulate you when they cant tell who's pregnant and who's not because you're all wearing the same god damn thing?

Bonus Hatred: The worst offenders were those girls who wore those really Jappy tube tops that sort of flowed out from there. I made it a point to tell girls exactly what I thought of them....and anybody who knows me has probably seen me do it. Uch!.....Fucking Horrendous!

Another one of these atrocities that Ive seen lately are these parachute looking dresses that have no form at all after the bust line. You may as well wear a barrel like the poor people in cartoons...same exact shape. Just a formless body with your head, arms, and legs sticking out.

The point is, if you have a nice body, show it off. Otherwise you might as well move to Saudi Arabia and wear a Burka. Those are nice and flowing too....and almost as ugly. I'm not a fashion designer or anything, but I am a straight guy, and I can tell what makes girls look good. In fact, straight men have a body part solely devoted to telling us just this. So, Girls who wear unflattering shirts and dresses....your throwing my sensors off....and I hate you.

People who bring their kids to the gym

Those of you who live in an apartment building with a gym know what I'm talking about....

Wild, screaming children, running around and bouncing on the exercise balls with friggin Hannah Montana blasting on all of the TV's. On top of that, their fat ass Mom is walking on one of the treadmills at 3 MPH.

Treadmills shouldn't even be allowed to go that slow. If all you're going to do is walk slow and read how to get/pleasure a man in Cosmo, do everyone a favor and take it outside. Maybe if you took a walk with your kid once in a while they wouldn't be such a pain in the ass and your's would actually shrink.

The very least you could do is just leave them upstairs to watch their annoying ass TV shows. Maybe then they wont fly off the bouncing ball, smashing their head into the stationary bike while I'm pedaling, and avoid serious injury.

Every once in a while, one of these kids gets tired of bouncing around and decides to jump on the treadmill to see how fast they can run. Of course this terrific parent never says anything and it's up to me to reprimand their kids. I'm just waiting for the day when one of these kids trips, breaks some teeth on the treadmill console, and gets shot off the end. Maybe then these parents would actually start being parents.

These kids would be safer playing with throwing knives upstairs in your apartment....Well, maybe not...But at least they wouldn't be annoying the shit out of me. Next time one of these kids get a little too close when I'm on the bike and falls into it, I'm not just going to giggle...I'm going to laugh hysterically. Then maybe a little tirade against the Mom is in order, describing all her inadequacies as a parent and how everything that just happened to her child is nobody's fault but her own.

People like this deserve a little shock therapy. People like this have no consideration of anybody but themselves. People like this should not be parents in the first place. People who bring their kids to the gym....I hate you.