Girls Who Wear Leggings as Pants

Every day I see them....Girls walking around wearing their leggings as pants. This shit has got to stop.

Too many girls have seen stupid hookers like Lindsay Lohan wearing these things and think they can pull them off in the same way. You have to understand something... Celebrities are allowed to dress like jack-asses. Just look at David Arquette or Andre 3000, they love to dress like assholes. The gigantic sunglasses that Nicole Ritchie and the Olsen Twins wear is something you might see on an 80 year old retiree in Palm Beach...they don't look good on anybody.

But I digress, this isn't about attention whore celebrity style, it's about girls looking stupid.

It appears there needs to be some ground rules that need to be laid out...and of course, I have taken the liberty of doing the laying.

1. Despite popular belief, seeing the outline of everything from your ankle to waist does not make men like you. More than likely, their respect is diminished.

2. Most girls do not have the body for this and make the mistake of showing too much. Jeans hide the lumps in fat asses and create asses that don't exist.

3. Skirts or dresses over leggings work...use them.

4. Wear leggings in your size...nothing looks worse than leggings stretched so thin that you can see through them.

True Story that illustrates my point:

Walking on UCLA's campus a while ago a girl was coming towards me. She was about 5'10, 190lbs, with long curly hair, and wearing a t-shirt with black leggings that were way too small. The closer we got to each other, the more I could see the distinct jiggle of her FUPA. At about 50 feet I could see she wasn't wearing any underwear, because the unmistakable outline of a camel-toe was so clear a blind man could see it.

With every step she took, it wasn't just the FUPA that was shaking any more...each side of that camel-toe was jiggling....independently. It wouldn't have been so bad, but those leggings were stretched so much they may as well have been made of saran wrap. Needless to say it was pretty disgusting....but at least it makes for a good story.

To tell you the truth, this might have been the day I was turned off to leggings as pants....I think anybody would be. Now that this phenomenon has sprung up, I feel the need to help put an end to it. Leggings as pants needs to come to an end. I implore you, don't turn to the dark side.

If you're looking for attention...show your boobs or something...at least some people get famous that way...then you can dress like an asshole all you want and people like me can't say shit about it. In closing, LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS! You're not doing yourself or anybody else any favors by wearing them. Girls who wear leggings as pants, I Hate You.

Girls who wear unflattering shirts and dresses

I have no idea why they do this....

You're a girl thats in pretty good shape. You eat right..work out..and take care of yourself in general. Then when it's time to go out, you throw on this shirt that was designed to hide a pregnant stomach. WTF?

Stop doing this immediately! There's absolutely no reason for it and to be totally honest, it makes you less attractive. These were designed to functionally hide the large belly of a pregnant woman in her last trimester, and you're wearing it at the bar.

Shirts like these will not help get you laid. Any guy looking at you automatically thinks that you're either A: Pregnant (which would normally be a good guess) or B: That you're hiding your spare tire. If you are neither, then throw on something that actually compliments the way you look.

Pregnant women: This was not meant as any knock on you. Pregnancy is beautiful and it definitely is flattering for you guys. But seriously, the time has come. You must reclaim these as your signifying attire! How are people supposed to congratulate you when they cant tell who's pregnant and who's not because you're all wearing the same god damn thing?

Bonus Hatred: The worst offenders were those girls who wore those really Jappy tube tops that sort of flowed out from there. I made it a point to tell girls exactly what I thought of them....and anybody who knows me has probably seen me do it. Uch!.....Fucking Horrendous!

Another one of these atrocities that Ive seen lately are these parachute looking dresses that have no form at all after the bust line. You may as well wear a barrel like the poor people in cartoons...same exact shape. Just a formless body with your head, arms, and legs sticking out.

The point is, if you have a nice body, show it off. Otherwise you might as well move to Saudi Arabia and wear a Burka. Those are nice and flowing too....and almost as ugly. I'm not a fashion designer or anything, but I am a straight guy, and I can tell what makes girls look good. In fact, straight men have a body part solely devoted to telling us just this. So, Girls who wear unflattering shirts and dresses....your throwing my sensors off....and I hate you.