Professional Athletes Who Suck at Life

There are few people less infuriating....Professional athletes acting a complete fool in their personal lives.

Look, the Pros have God given gifts in athletic ability that the rest of us will never match in our lives no matter how hard we try, and these douchebags can't handle their shit.

Yo Plax...your agent's on the phone...he said you might as well go for the trifecta and videotape yourself doing blow and killing a stripper. So, this weekend, word came out that Plaxico Burress was out at a bar and shot himself in the leg like Cheddar Bob from 8 Mile....wow...give yourself a round of applause you stupid piece of shit!

PacMan Jones is almost too easy. This retard has a rap sheet that could fill a novel, and that's just from his days in the NFL. His record from high school should have barred him from college and his record from college should have automatically disqualified him from the NFL. There is a three strike rule in the NFL, and he managed to rack up 9 arrests, four of which were violent. Six if you want to count the 2 misdemeanor assaults on 2 occassions for spitting in girls faces (he seems to have a thing for it).

Assholes like this shouldn't be allowed to walk the streets let alone get idolized and paid a lot of money. Ridiculed...not role models. Pariahs...not praised. Defenestrated....not Deified. Maybe that last one was pushing it, but you get the point.

Pros are some of the luckiest people on the planet...they get to play a sport they love...and they're better at it than almost everybody else in the world. Is it that much to ask to not break the law? I guess maybe it is sometimes....shit, Ricky Williams quit the NFL so he could smoke weed...but now he's back....again. I guess he figured out that you need money to buy pot. Wouldn't it have been a better idea to just play in the NFL for 10 years and then retire in Amsterdam? Then you can smoke your brains out and do whatever you want for the rest of your life, fuckin' dummy.

Here's a couple of simple rules for Pro Athletes to follow so they don't fuck up their careers...

1. Don't break the law - including but not limited to:
a)Drugs - Doing them and Selling them are both frowned upon (that's right Cowboys, I'm looking at you)
b)Fighting - Dog, Cock, Human - All Bad
c)Illegal Guns - Very Bad...If you're allowed to have a gun, you'd prob know...they come from stores...not back alleys/car trunks/friend of a friend
i)Shooting illegal guns - didn't I just fucking tell you not to have one?
ii)Shooting illegal guns near the White House - Next time just put one in your head...you'll be doing everybody else a favor

2. Don't hurt yourself doing something stupid.
a)Motorcycles - Your a pro athlete, you shouldn't need one to get laid
b)STD's - If some girl is going to bang you for being a Pro, it's prob not her first time...best to wrap it up - remember...nothing ends a season like Hepatitis

That should about cover the majority of problems...If you're that big an idiot, hire somebody to make decisions for you. I would be more than willing to offer my services. For a fraction of your league fines and legal fees, you PacMan could avoid jail and having to worry about what your spitting. Gross...I know....Pro Athletes who suck at life, I hate you.

People Who Need to Look at the Menu at the Chinese Restaurant

God I hate these people.....You really have to be some kind of moron to not know what you want to order at a Chinese Restaurant.


If you are in the mood for Chinese food, you know what you want before you even go in....what the fuck is the point of seeing a menu?!? Is there magically going to be some new dishes on the menu or is it the same fucking dishes you've been looking at since you were a child. Chances are you order one of the same 4 or 5 different dishes you always get, all of which are at every single Chinese Restaurant.

Instead, the waiter/waitress comes to take your order and you're still reviewing the menu while he's/she's standing there tapping their feet and looking at you like you're retarded....there's a reason they think you're stupid...it's because you are.

When was the last time you had the special at a Chinese Restaurant? I'm going to guess never because they don't exist. Even more of a reason to know what you want when you go in there....same shit, different day....Stop wasting everybody's time! Chinese restaurants shouldn't even HAVE menus except to look at the price....and even then you can pretty much guess within a dollar.

The bottom line is, when the menu never changes, and you always choose the same things anyway, and THE MENU NEVER FUCKING CHANGES....you should know what you want before you walk through the door...people who need to look at the menu at Chinese Restaurants, I hate you.