Thursday, February 25, 2010

People with Monogrammed LL Bean Bookbags







Ohhman...these fucking nerds are all over the place in DC.  Bunch of wannabe prepsters with their initials on their backpacks bought at a wannabe outdoors store. 

Apparently there are so many of these toolbags walking around that they needed to put their initials on their bags so they wouldn't confuse one ugly ass bag with another.  You will usually see them traveling in packs because they are weak willed and co-dependent...which is probably why they felt the need to get this bag like everybody else anyway.

Its one thing to buy an ugly bag...its a whole other thing to need your initials on it.  Let me tell you this, if you can't tell which bag is yours, then you're so fucking stupid that you should just put a bullet in your head now because life only gets tougher from here.

If you ask me, these people are walking targets to get mugged.  Clearly they have money because they're getting their shit monogrammed....And they shop at LL Bean so they have no balls.  Perfect recipe for a mark.

Personally I'm tired of seeing these fucking things.  Actually, I just saw one of these things on the bus the other day.  Immediately I got the urge to knock the 14 year old kid over.  I didn't, because I actually have self control sometimes, but it was definitely the first thing I thought of.  

The amount of tools walking around with these things has reached monumental proportions and personally, I can't take it anymore.  People with monogrammed LL Bean bags, I hope you lose your bag and I hate you.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

People Who Don't Clean Up After Their Dogs

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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

People who Abbreviate their First Names



What a bunch of pretentious cocksuckers...I don't know about you, but I cringe every time I see one of these signs on the road.

Where do these people get off abbreviating their first names? I thought everybody was on board with Joeseph being shortened to Joe, and Thomas being shortened to Tom. Where the fuck did "Jos." and "Thos." come from? Perfectly good, natural nicknames being cast aside to look like a dickhead.

When I think of the type of person that goes by Jos. or Thos., he is either from the 1800's wearing a tailed tuxedo with a top hat, or some preppy douchebag at a country club and is probably named Jos. Dicklicker "III" or "IV". The latter is probably wearing a Lacoste Polo with salmon colored pants and boat shoes.

These wannabe 18th century assholes have their noses in the air looking down at all the regular people like Joe and Tom. Well I'm not going to stand for that shit. When your name is Charles and you go by "Chas." it's time for you to kill yourself. Nobody is fooled into thinking you're classier than Chuck and Charlie. People who abbreviate your first name...you need a time machine and I hate you.